In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: “You’re Never Ready”—Supporting Nurses Through Their First (and Every) Fetal Demise
🩷 Self-care moment: Your feelings are valid

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🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

🦋 5 Meaningful Ways to Mark a Door for Fetal Demise
Five practical, compassionate door-marking ideas to protect family privacy and support staff awareness during IUFD care. (Forget Me Not)

📊 We Surveyed 150 Nurses: What Does Your Unit Use for IUFD?
Survey results reveal the most-used resources and tools for supporting families after intrauterine fetal demise. (Forget Me Not)

🇮🇹 Spanish Early Loss Bereavement Box
Our early loss bereavement box is now available in Spanish, offering culturally sensitive support for families before 20 weeks. (Forget Me Not)

📖 Deep Dive

“You’re Never Ready”—Supporting Nurses Through Their First (and Every) Fetal Demise

Many of you may have seen the recent post in the Labor and Delivery Nurses Rock Facebook group where a nurse shared, “Had my first fetal demise......Lord, I wasn't ready.” The outpouring of responses was overwhelming—hundreds of nurses, from brand new to decades in the field, echoed the same sentiment: you are never truly ready for the death of a baby, and it never gets easier.

This week, I want to dive into why these moments are so universally difficult, what evidence-based strategies can help, and how we can better support both new and seasoned nurses as they walk with families through loss. Whether you’re a new nurse facing your first experience or a veteran teaching others, this conversation is for you.

The Weight of Witnessing Loss

When you step into nursing, you expect to save lives. You train for emergencies, practice resuscitation, and study interventions.

But somewhere between your textbooks and clinical rotations, there's a gap—a space where nobody quite prepares you for the emotional weight of caring for families when saving isn't possible.

Research confirms what many nurses experience firsthand: caring for families during fetal demise creates a unique form of psychological stress.

The Paradox of Confidence and Trauma

Here's something that might surprise you…

The more confident nurses become in providing bereavement care, the more vulnerable they may be to psychological trauma. Research published in 2024 revealed an unexpected finding—nurses with higher confidence in perinatal bereavement care actually showed increased rates of secondary traumatic stress.

This suggests that as nurses become more skilled and involved in these deeply emotional situations, they may absorb more of the family's grief.

Think about it: the nurse who stays present during those sacred moments, who creates beautiful memories, who provides the kind of care families remember forever—that same nurse is also opening themselves to profound emotional impact. It's the cost of compassionate care, and it's rarely discussed in orientation or continuing education.

The Ripple Effect of Compassionate Care

Despite the emotional toll, research consistently shows that nurses who provide compassionate bereavement care create lasting positive impacts. Parents remember their nurses by name years later, and quality nursing care during loss significantly improves families' psychological outcomes.

From a previous post on the companioning philosophy, we know that presence often matters more than having perfect words

One parent who experienced stillbirth shared:

4 Truths Every L&D Nurse Should Know

No matter where you are in your career, you can approach these sacred moments with quiet confidence by remembering four foundational truths.

You don't need to have all the answers—your willingness to stay present speaks volumes.

Simply being there, offering your authentic self, matters more than finding perfect words. Honor grieving as a natural, necessary process that doesn't need to be fixed or hurried.

Most importantly, trust that your gentle presence during someone's most vulnerable moment creates a lasting impact you may never fully realize. The families you serve will remember your compassionate care long after the medical details fade

🩷 Self-care moment

If you’ve just experienced your first fetal demise, or your fiftieth, please remember: you are not meant to “get used to” this. As one nurse shared, “When it gets easier, it’s time to retire.” Take time to grieve, debrief with someone you trust, and access support resources—your feelings are valid, and you deserve care too.