In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: Top 20 Best Ideas Shared by Nurses at the Bereavement Summit

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Want to learn how to get Forget Me Not Boxes in your hospital? Reply “Bereavement boxes”

🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

📖 New Book: Born Into Loss
This new release offers rare insights into the "replacement child" dynamic and how a sibling's death impacts subsequent children. It is a must-read for understanding the long-term ripple effects of grief on the whole family.
Check out the book here (Rowman & Littlefield)

🏥 Leverage for Your Bereavement Room Request
This 2025 review confirms private rooms are essential and links perinatal loss to higher rates of complicated grief. It exposes a huge gap in design standards—powerful data to back up your next capital request.
Read the review here (National Institutes of Health)

📖 Deep Dive

Top 20 Best Ideas Shared by Nurses at the Bereavement Summit

You all showed up and basically turned the chat into a live playbook.
This is a round‑up of the smartest, most practical ideas that came straight from you.

Several of you also emailed after asking, “What was that lotion?” “Which cradles?” “Where did they get those hearts?”. Also, several of you had amazing responses in the pre and post survey we asked you to fill out.

So this pulls together both the clinical “why” and the concrete “what” you can actually order or start tomorrow

Memory making at 10–40 weeks

1. “Some families like to…” language

Multiple coordinators are using the “Some families like to…” script to offer options without pressure: photos, footprints, bath, special outfit, molds.Transcription.pdf​

That framing aligns with evidence that choice and control lower risk of complicated grief after perinatal loss.

More reading on this here: ​Complicated grief following the perinatal loss: a systematic review. BMC Pregnancy Childbirth.
2024 Nov 22;24(1):772. doi: 10.1186/s12884-024-06986-y. PMID: 39578811; PMCID: PMC11583632.

2. Early‑loss memory ideas when they never see the baby

Nurses shared using: tiny plush hearts, crocheted squares or Bridget’s Cradles “memory squares,” ultrasound photos, and a sympathy card for miscarriage when there is no visible baby to hold.

More reading on this here: ​Complicated grief after perinatal loss.
Kersting A, Wagner B. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2012 Jun;14(2):187-94. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/akersting. PMID: 22754291; PMCID: PMC3384447.

​3. Tiered keepsake approach for high‑volume units

Several of you talked about a “tiered” system: simple, low‑cost items for everyone (footprints, a blanket, a small token) and more expanded options like Forget Me Not bereavement boxes when a physical baby is born and resources allow.

That approach helps balance equity, budget constraints, and the data showing perinatal loss is associated with high rates of complicated grief compared with other bereavements.​

4. Footprints, molds, and immersion photos

Teams described offering footprints and handprints whenever skin integrity allows, using unbreakable print molds, and doing “immersion” photos (baby partly under water) to gently support fragile skin and improve image quality.
Parents often describe these tangible items as “proof my baby existed,” which systematic reviews link to healthier grief integration over time.​

5. Bridget’s Cradles and Etsy finds

You mentioned Bridget’s Cradles for tiny cradles and “memory squares,” plus Etsy shops such as “Luke’s Lovies” for tiny booties and specialty outfits.

These small, baby‑scaled items give proportionally sized clothing and containers that help families perceive their baby as a child, not “medical waste,” which qualitative work shows is critical for meaning‑making.​

6. Heart stones, crocheted hearts, and keychains

Several coordinators use heart‑shaped stones from grief vendors like Grief Watch or from local crystal shops, sometimes having families write initials or dates in silver Sharpie during ceremonies.​
One nurse shared crocheted hearts with attached keychains and birthstone charms—low cost, high impact, and easy to restock through volunteers.

Bathing, lotions, and scent choices

7. Gentle sponge baths with baby soap

You shared a simple protocol: baby on a towel in a basin, warm water with a small amount of baby soap, gently squeezing water over the body and dabbing—no rubbing—then air‑drying to protect fragile skin.​
This aligns with literature on postmortem care of very small infants, emphasizing minimal friction to maintain skin integrity for viewing and photography.​

8. When skin is very fragile: baby oil instead of lotion

One coordinator recommended using baby oil on a soft cloth to remove vernix when skin is extremely delicate, specifically to prepare the face for photos.​

That small adjustment supports better images without compromising the baby’s appearance, which parents often revisit for years and link to their ability to process the death.​

9. Scented lotions—only after you ask

The chat lit up around this: some use baby‑powder‑scented lotions; others prefer lavender or common baby lotions; and one nurse cautioned that scent can become a trauma trigger.​
The safest pattern: always ask whether they want any scent and consider offering an unscented option, recognizing that sensory cues can later re‑activate grief and anxiety.​

10. Single‑use / travel‑size containers

You asked where to source “single use” lotion containers; nurses recommended bulk travel‑size bottles (e.g., Amazon) or pre‑filled single‑use ampoules to avoid cross‑contamination and make stocking simpler.​

That also makes it easy to place the exact lotion or oil you used into the memory box if the family wants to keep it.

Early‑loss kits and ED/office care

11. ED miscarriage kits with practical tools

One doula shared an ED training where they now send patients home with miscarriage kits that include a small hat, a strainer to catch the baby at home, and a container for burial or return to the hospital.​

Another nurse linked Heaven’s Gain miscarriage kits, which many are using as an off‑the‑shelf option when budgets are tight.​ We also shared our Forget Me Not early loss miscarriage bereavement boxes at the beginning of the call for anyone who missed it.

12. Clear instructions for at‑home miscarriage

Multiple survey responses said early‑loss patients were sent home with “come back if bleeding gets worse”—nothing prepared them if they delivered at home.

Given evidence that perinatal loss is associated with long‑term mental and physical health risks, written instructions and clear options for baby care at home are a QI opportunity with huge upside.​

More reading on this here: ​Evaluation of the Grief of Mothers Aff aluation of the Grief of Mothers Affected b ected by Perinatal and erinatal and Traumatic Loss
Landry Crabtree University of Missouri-St. Louis

13. Simple door markers for bereavement rooms

For hospitals without a dedicated bereavement room, nurses described using a butterfly or other small symbol on the door to signal staff that this is a loss room.

This lines up with narrative reviews showing that private, clearly marked bereavement spaces are repeatedly named in guidelines as essential to quality care, even though design research is still minimal.

We wrote a newsletter about this here: ​5 Meaningful Ways to Mark a Door for Fetal Demise (Forget Me Not)

Follow‑up: texts, anniversaries, and automation

14. “No need to respond” text scripts

You loved hearing the specific wording one coordinator uses: “Hi ___, just checking on you. Are you back to work yet? No need to respond. Don’t forget our support group meets next Monday.”

Families often do not reply but later say that being remembered—over and over—was more healing than any single visit.

15. Structured follow‑up timelines

Some of you are following Resolve Through Sharing (RTS) or AWHONN style time points: within 1–2 weeks, then around 1, 3, 6, 9, and 12 months, plus due date and key holidays.

That fits emerging research that complicated grief after perinatal loss can persist for years, and that proactive follow‑up helps identify parents struggling with depression, PTSD, or prolonged grief.

More reading on this here: ​A systematic review of instruments measuring grief after perinatal loss and factors associated with grief reactions (Cambridge)

16. Anniversary and due‑date touches

Ideas included: cards on the baby’s birthday or estimated due date, invitations to annual remembrance ceremonies, and emails or texts around Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness events.​
One program sends cards at specific “perinatal loss week” observances, which families frequently mention back to staff as deeply meaningful.​

17. Considering automated educational follow‑up

On your post‑event survey, many of you said you would “maybe” or “yes” consider automated educational follow‑up messages for bereaved families if your hospital had access.​

Given strong data that automated post‑discharge programs can cut readmissions and improve engagement in other populations, there is a real opportunity to adapt that model thoughtfully for stillbirth and infant loss.

Staff self‑care, training, and advocacy

18. Dedicated loss class and standard training

Some hospitals now require a loss class for all L&D and postpartum staff, using toolkits from Resolve Through Sharing, AWHONN, and SHARE Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support.​

This responds directly to your summit survey results: two‑thirds of nurses reported no formal bereavement training, and 40% said they were not confident talking to families after a loss.

19. Simple staff‑care routines that nurses actually do

Rose shared the “one hour outside a day” prescription that turned into a non‑negotiable for her anxiety, and participants echoed ideas like keeping a written self‑care list in a wallet to use after a hard shift.Transcription.pdf​
With perinatal loss linked to high emotional burden and burnout in staff, these micro‑habits are not fluffy—they are protective factors for you and, downstream, for families.​

20. Using data to push for bereavement rooms and resources

Several of you talked about walking into the ED, gathering your own numbers, and pairing them with national data to argue for better training, bereavement rooms, and supplies.

The new narrative review on perinatal bereavement rooms is a powerful citation here: it shows that dedicated rooms are repeatedly recommended, but almost no empirical work exists—exactly the kind of evidence gap that makes QI and capital requests compelling.​​​

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

Education: Please share our newsletter with your co-workers. Our priority is empowering nurses with the tools to support patients with modern, evidence-based bereavement education.

Bereavement boxes: Our bereavement boxes were designed out of a need for a modern high quality solution for families suffering from miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death.

Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not