In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best links I found this week
📖 Deep dive: 15 Meaningful Messages to Write in a Card After a Fetal Demise
🩷 Self-care moment: It’s not yours to fix

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🔗 My Favorite Finds This Week

📝 Sympathy Card Ideas
Real-world advice and peer discussion on what nurses write in sympathy cards for families after a fetal demise. (All Nurses Forum)

✅ Follow-up care
The best way to support families after an early or late loss. (Forget Me Not)

📖 Deep Dive

15 Meaningful Messages to Write in a Card After a Fetal Demise

Supporting parents after the death of a baby is one of the most delicate and meaningful moments in labor and delivery nursing. The words you choose can offer comfort, validation, and a sense of acknowledgment that parents often carry with them for years. Yet, knowing what to write can feel overwhelming-especially in the face of such profound loss.

In every Forget Me Not bereavement box, we provide a journal with a dedicated page for nurses to write a personal note to the patient. Understandably, finding the right words can be challenging during this difficult time, and we've gathered advice from L&D nurses and evidence-based research to help you express your support to parents experiencing the death of their baby.

Research consistently shows that bereaved parents remember the care and words of their healthcare team in vivid detail, often for the rest of their lives. Sensitive, empathetic communication is essential in helping parents process their loss and find meaning in their experience.

Acknowledging the baby as a person, using their name, not minimizing the loss, and recognizing the parents as parents are all powerful ways to honor their grief and support their healing.

15 ideas to help guide writing a card to your patient

Keep in mind, these are just ideas as a starting point. Feel free to use any combination that resonates with you and speaks to your heart and what will resonate with the parents.

“I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. I am honored to have cared for your family.”

“Your baby was so loved and cherished. I will always remember [baby’s name].”

“Thank you for allowing me to be a part of [baby’s name]’s story. I will never forget your strength and love.”

“I thought you were so brave when you opened up about how you were feeling.”

“It’s still a loss no matter when it happens.”

“I will never forget when… [share a gentle memory or observation].”

“Thank you for the opportunity to grieve with you.”

“I wish we had met under different circumstances, but it was an honor to care for you and to hold and meet [baby's name].”

“I am deeply sorry for the death of [baby’s name]”

“I will remember [baby’s name] and their [describe detailed features] cute little toes, button nose, delicate features, all that hair! Etc…) always.”

“Your family/your baby forever touched my heart/changed my life.”

“You are not alone.”

“I am forever grateful to have gotten to care for you and your sweet [baby’s name]. Thank you for sharing him/her with me.”

“This is not your fault.”

“The nurses of [hospital unit] will never forget you, your baby, or your story. [Parents’ names], you and [baby's name] have deeply touched us all."

Tips:

• Use the baby’s name whenever possible.

• Acknowledge the parents as parents.

• Mention a specific feature or memory if appropriate.

• Keep it simple, heartfelt, and free of religious references unless you know the family’s wishes.

What Not to Say

• Avoid phrases like “At least it was early on,” “You can try again,” or “Everything happens for a reason”105.

• Do not refer to the baby as a “fetus” or “demise” in front of parents-use “baby” or the baby’s name17.

🩷 Self-care moment

It’s not yours to fix

Supporting families through the death of a baby can feel heavy, and it’s natural to want to take away their pain or find the perfect words. But this isn’t something you can fix–and it isn’t your responsibility to have all the answers.

Your role is to offer warmth, compassion, and authenticity. Simply being present and bearing witness to their grief is enough. Take a breath and remind yourself: showing up with empathy matters more than having the right words.