In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: Meet Anna the Nurse: Raising the Bar for Bereavement Care

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🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

▶️ Anna The Nurse
Anna shared a heartfelt message about caring for families experiencing loss, and the comments section is absolutely incredible with parents and nurses sharing their stories and gratitude. Instagram

📚 High-Fidelity Bereavement Simulation Training Study
New research shows that hands-on simulation training dramatically improves nurses' comfort and skills when providing perinatal bereavement care - exactly the kind of comprehensive education Anna talked about needing. Digital Commons

🏥 Med Students for Memories Initiative
Medical students at UTHealth created a program to improve infant loss protocols and provide memory boxes for families at LBJ Hospital, recognizing that "grief needs a place to go." UTHealth

💜 AWHONN's Perinatal Bereavement Resources
The Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses has developed comprehensive resources to help caregivers provide compassionate, respectful care to families experiencing loss. You have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to find it. AWHONN

📖 Deep Dive

Meet Anna the Nurse: Raising the Bar for Bereavement Care

If you’re on social, you probably already know Anna the Nurse (or Anna Pascarella, RNC-OB, as we call her in the field). Anna is truly a leading voice in labor and delivery on TikTok (with 1.4 million fans!), Instagram, and YouTube. She’s also an experienced childbirth educator, regularly teaching birthing classes for expectant families.

I absolutely loved getting to sit down with Anna—she’s nothing short of a delight and we had the best conversation around this important topic. She brings such a powerful, grounded perspective to both labor & delivery and bereavement care, and her warmth is contagious. In this interview, we don’t shy away from the real stuff. Anna’s insights are honest, incredibly helpful, and so applicable for anyone in our profession.

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

Q&A: In Anna’s Own Words

Q: When you walk into a room knowing a family has just lost their baby, what’s the first thing on your mind as their nurse?

"It’s honestly so heavy. My first thought is always—okay, how can I best support them, right now? Every family is different. Sometimes you walk in and you can feel the shock, other times the grief is just overwhelming. I try to read the room, see if they need space, if they want to talk, or just need someone to be present and not say a word. I always remind myself: calling their baby by name matters, honoring whatever it is they need in that moment matters. Even years later, I remember every family I’ve cared for in these situations. It just stays with you".

Q: What did you wish you’d known starting out?

“I was so nervous the first time—honestly, you never really know how you’ll respond until you’re in it. But I was surprised at how well I handled it. When you’re in the moment, there’s so much clinical work to do—you focus on making sure the baby is delivered and that the mother’s safe. That’s your job, and it kept me grounded. But it’s still emotional, no matter what. I always tell new nurses: ask questions, lean on your team, and if you need a break, step out and breathe for a minute. That’s just part of being human—even for us.”

Q: New and seasoned nurses both struggle with infant loss and miscarriage. Can you describe that learning curve?

“It’s a real mix out there. Some nurses, especially those with more experience, know exactly how to handle it. We even let people volunteer for these cases if they feel up for it, because not everyone does. Watching a more seasoned nurse, or talking it out with a colleague who’s ‘been there’—that’s huge. And it’s okay to feel intimidated or worried you won’t say the right thing. You grow into it.”

Q: Are there protocols or ‘little things’ that really make a difference?

“Oh, absolutely. At my hospital, when a mom has lost a baby, we put a flower on her door so everyone knows to walk in with compassion. That simple step has stopped so many awkward or hurtful mistakes. And memory boxes—to provide even the smallest keepsakes—is everything. We give families as much time as they want, and we never rush. The baby’s name matters. If you can help make handprints, footprints—do it.”

Q: Sometimes families don’t want to see or hold their baby at first. What then?

“This happens more than you’d think. I’ll say, ‘Can I make some keepsakes for you? Maybe you’d want them later, maybe you don’t.’ If they’re not ready, I pack everything up in a box. Family or friends can take it, or it’s there if they change their mind. I’ve never had anyone angry about that. Sometimes, people just need to know those memories are there… even if they can’t face them yet.”

Q: How do you handle not knowing what caused the loss? Is that hard for nurses?

“Yes—so hard. Most of the time, there’s no good answer. And as a nurse, you feel like you should have the answer, but it isn’t your job to explain everything. Some things just have no explanation. I always stress to newer nurses: you don’t need to carry that burden. Be honest if you don’t know. That’s enough.”

Q: What about aftercare for nurses? And for moms—do you think hospitals are doing enough?

“Honestly, most of us have to find support ourselves—usually colleagues we trust, or sometimes a therapist or a partner. I wish more hospitals had real support or debriefing. It would make a huge difference. Sometimes a provider will call a quick meeting after a tough case—just ‘Does anyone want to talk? Anything we could have done better?’ That’s the gold standard, if it happens.”

“For moms, there’s room for better follow-up. In the US, it’s usually just a standard OB checkup—nothing extra for bereaved moms. A lot of other countries do it better. And I wish we had more doula or community support options for these families, because they deserve so much more.”

Q: Any last words for new nurses who are scared or for veterans who are tired?

“Everyone messes up or says the wrong thing sometimes. Just stay gentle, stay open, and remember, the little things you do are remembered forever. You won’t forget these families—and they won’t forget you, either.”

Anna, thank you for all you do. And again, if you’re not following her, you’re missing out on daily inspiration and support:
→ Instagram | TikTok | YouTube

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

We offer bereavement boxes to give as gifts to those who leave the hospital after a miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death. Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not