In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: The Challenge No One Talks About: Navigating the Nurse-Doula Partnership When Supporting Families Through Infant Loss

Know a co-worker who would benefit from this newsletter? Subscribe here
Want to learn how to get Forget Me Not Boxes in your hospital? Reply “Bereavement boxes”

🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

Here’s a mixed list of favorite links—two from AWHONN, three from other top bereavement resources:

📝 Checklist for Miscarriage
AWHONN’s step-by-step, compassionate approach to miscarriage care (AWHONN)

📝 Checklist for Stillbirth
Every essential for stillbirth care—empowering labor & delivery nurses to support grieving families (AWHONN)

💬 Resolve Through Sharing Bereavement Training
A gold-standard training program trusted by thousands of hospitals—for developing true, practical confidence in perinatal loss care (RTS).
Source: Resolve Through Sharing

🎧 Supporting Nurses, Supporting Families (Podcast)
A fresh, down-to-earth podcast episode on the daily realities, challenges, and tips for nurses after perinatal loss (American Nurse Journal).
Source: American Nurse Journal

📚 Perinatal Bereavement Education Modules (Share)
Short, actionable courses covering communication, trauma-informed care, and grief support for real-world nursing (Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support).
Source: Share Online Training

📖 Deep Dive

The Challenge No One Talks About: Navigating the Nurse-Doula Partnership When Supporting Families Through Infant Loss

The truth is, when grief fills the room, relationships get complicated.

I've been talking to hundreds of nurses about this. You know that moment when a doula walks onto your unit during a stillbirth or infant death case? Sometimes it feels seamless. Other times... well, it doesn't.

Today we're diving into something most bereavement training skips entirely - how to work with doulas, not around them, when families are facing the unthinkable.

The Reality Check

Here's what the research shows us. From the 2016 study of 704 nurses and 1,470 doulas, it found that…

And when you're supporting a family through the death of their baby, confusion about "who does what" isn't just awkward - it can actually harm families when they need seamless care most.

Studies consistently find that both nurses and doulas want the same outcome. But somewhere between good intentions and bedside reality, things get messy.

Where the Tension Lives

Let me be direct about this. The biggest issue isn't personality conflicts or territorial behavior. It's this: most hospitals don't have clear protocols for doula integration during bereavement cases.

From our recent survey of 216 nurses, here are the top challenges:

• "Not knowing what the doula's actual scope is during IUFD"

• "Feeling like we're stepping on each other"

• "Different approaches to family communication"

• "Unclear about who handles what tasks"

One L&D nurse told said:

A doula shared:

Sound familiar?

The Evidence on What Actually Helps

Research from the Supportive Birth Collaborative shows something powerful. When hospitals implement clear doula-nurse collaboration protocols, trust between providers increases by 25% and communication improves by 23% – Read more on this here.

But here's the key - it's not about creating more rules. It's about understanding what each person brings to the table.

Your Expertise vs. Their Expertise

Let's get crystal clear about this:

Your clinical expertise includes:

• Medical assessment and monitoring

• Hospital policy navigation

• Clinical decision-making support

• Medication administration

• Emergency response protocols

• Coordination with medical team

Doula expertise includes:

• Continuous emotional support

• Cultural and spiritual guidance

• Birth plan advocacy

• Extended postpartum follow-up

• Community resource connections

• Non-medical comfort techniques

Notice something? These don't overlap - they complement.

The Follow-Up Gap That Doulas Fill

Here's something that might surprise you. Most hospital bereavement programs consist of "a few phone calls, maybe a card and that's it". Research shows families need support for 2-4 years on average, but hospitals can't provide that level of ongoing care.

This is where doulas become invaluable. They can bridge that gap between hospital discharge and long-term community support in ways your hospital simply isn't resourced to do.

Practical Strategies That Work

Before the doula arrives:

• Clarify with families what role they want their doula to play

• Discuss any cultural or spiritual preferences

• Set expectations about communication flow

When working together:

• Introduce yourself and briefly share your approach

• Ask the doula about the family's expressed preferences

• Clarify who will handle specific tasks (photos, memory-making, etc.)

• Use phrases like "How can I support what you're already doing with this family?"

For challenging moments:

• Focus on family needs, not professional territory

• Have a brief sidebar conversation away from the family if confusion arises

• Remember that families often see you as one team

The ATTEND Model in Action

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore's ATTEND framework gives us a perfect example of collaboration:

Attunement - Both you and the doula can practice mindful presence
Trust - Building therapeutic relationships with clear boundaries
Touch - Coordinating comfort measures and physical support
Egalitarianism - Treating families as partners in their care
Nuance - Recognizing each family's unique needs
Death education - Sharing information within your respective scopes

When both providers use this framework, families experience more cohesive, compassionate care.

What Families Actually Say

From families who've experienced infant loss with both nurse and doula support:

When It Gets Complicated

Sometimes personalities clash. Sometimes approaches differ significantly. Sometimes families put you in the middle.

Remember this: Families experiencing infant death are in crisis. They don't need perfect collaboration - they need consistent compassion. Your willingness to work together, even imperfectly, matters more than seamless execution.

If tension arises, focus on these questions:

• What does this family need right now?

• How can we minimize their stress?

• What's the most important thing happening in this moment?

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

We offer bereavement boxes to give as gifts to those who leave the hospital after a miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death. Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not