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Meaningful Ways to Mark a Door for Fetal Demise
Every week, we deliver evidence-based strategies for modern perinatal bereavement care. Written by Jay CRNA, MS, specializing in obstetrical anesthesia, and Trina, a bereavement expert, both who have experienced loss.
Trina Parkin
February 13, 2026 • Read time: 9 minutes
In Today’s Issue:
🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: Meaningful Ways to Mark a Door for Fetal Demise
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Want to learn how to get Forget Me Not Boxes in your hospital? Reply “Bereavement boxes”
🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week
👥 Freebie printout – Guide for IUFD visitors
I created a free guide, “5 Tips for Visiting a Loved One After Miscarriage or the Death of a Baby.” You can print this out and recommend visitors scan and read it on their phone before visiting their loved ones.
👉 Get Guide Here
💬 Honest feedback from loss moms (Reddit)
An L&D nurse asked in the babyloss subreddit, “What can I do to make the process of miscarrying or losing a baby easier for you while you are in my care?” The responses were insightful and moving.
👉 Reddit thread
🌈 Rainbow door cards & kits
In our summit chat, nurses shared how a simple rainbow door card signals a pregnancy after loss so staff walk in aware of the family’s history.
Many of them also referenced SHARE’s trainings on memory making and pregnancy after loss.
👉 Hospital Door Marker Card
📖 Deep Dive
Marking a Door for Fetal Demise: 2.0
We first talked about door marking for fetal demise about a year ago, but after listening to hundreds of nurses and bereavement coordinators through our summit and hospital calls, we’ve learned a lot—so think of this as Marking a Door 2.0.
When supporting families after stillbirth or the death of a baby, the details matter profoundly.
One of the most overlooked yet powerful details is how we mark the door of a patient’s room.
This small piece of visual communication can prevent devastating moments of misunderstanding.
I recently stumbled upon this Reddit thread (worth a read) of a nurse genuinely asking loss moms, “What can I do to make the process of miscarrying or losing a baby easier for you while you are in my care?”
Several moms raised the importance of marking the door.
One mom said,
“We had a woman from the lab come to draw blood at 2 AM, and she congratulated us. She didn’t know, and it was awful for all of us.”
These painful encounters are more common than we might think.
SHARE teaches that the way families are spoken to at the moment of loss often becomes “frozen in time” and replayed for years.
A single “congratulations” outside a bereavement room can stick as tightly as the moment they were told there was no heartbeat.
Below are updated, practical ways to mark a door in a way that’s respectful, clear, and realistic for different hospital cultures.
1. Make a wreath
Annemarie gave me permission to share this beautiful wreath she and a few other staff created. So pretty, right?!
Implementation tip: I found a similar wreath frame on Amazon and you can find cute faux florals at your local craft store. Use green twine to attach the floral to the wreath.
2. Butterfly door hangers
Some hospitals use butterfly symbols as door markers. One facility reports success with this approach, noting that parents appreciate being able to take the butterflies home in their memory boxes afterward.
Implementation tip: These butterflies are a beautiful visual way to mark their door. These ones come with double-sided glue dots and can be placed anywhere and easily removed without leaving marks.
3. Subtle bereavement magnet
When you have more red tape to deal with or are looking for a more subtle approach, a small magnet can be placed on the door.
Implementation tip: Some hospitals use magnets that can be placed on the door frame or incorporated into the existing room number display.
4. Electronic alerts (chart flags)
While not a physical door marker, implementing electronic alerts in your charting system creates an additional layer of protection.
Implementation tip: Work with your IT department to create a bereavement flag that appears when any staff member accesses the patient’s chart. This can help prepare lab technicians, food service workers, and others before they enter the room.
Some teams also add a brief script in the pop‑up:
“Bereavement room: baby has died. Avoid congratulations. Use baby’s name if documented.”
5. Specialized door signage systems
Some hospitals have implemented color-coded or symbol-based door sign systems.
One hospital uses a specialized magnet with a subtle lavender ribbon. It’s recognized universally throughout their facility but wouldn’t be obvious to visitors from other patient rooms.
Implementation tip: One approach is to match the color of the magnet or symbol with the color you already use for stillbirth paperwork and checklists. That way, door, chart, and forms all “speak the same language.”
6. Rainbow door cards for after‑loss pregnancies
In our training chat, a nurse shared that their unit uses a door card with a rainbow on it for “rainbow babies,” so anyone walking into the room knows this pregnancy follows a prior loss.
Some hospitals pair this with a small “rainbow kit” (crocheted rainbow blanket, book about rainbow babies, rainbow ink for footprints) as part of their program.
7. Tie door markers into the Rights of Parents
SHARE’s “Rights of Parents When a Baby Dies” is widely used in perinatal bereavement trainings.
It includes the right to be cared for by empathetic staff and to have their baby acknowledged—door symbols are one small way to make that real.
You can align your policies like this:
“When a baby dies, a bereavement symbol will be placed on the door and in the chart to help all staff enter with awareness and sensitivity.”
This also helps when advocating with leadership, because you’re tying your practice to an established, evidence-supported standard.
8. Make markers part of the workflow
From our summit, nurses reminded us: if it’s not built into the checklist, it gets lost on a chaotic shift.
The teams that have success with door markers usually:
Include “place bereavement door symbol / activate chart flag” in their perinatal loss checklist.
Assign responsibility (charge nurse, bereavement coordinator, or primary RN).
Teach the meaning of each symbol in annual bereavement education, not just once at roll‑out.
When you present door marking as a communication safety tool—not just décor—it’s much easier to get risk, leadership, and surveyors on board.
👋 That’s a Wrap!
Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital
Education: Please share our newsletter with your co-workers. Our priority is empowering nurses with the tools to support patients with modern, evidence-based bereavement education.
Bereavement boxes: Our bereavement boxes were designed out of a need for a modern high quality solution for families suffering from miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death.
Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.
What we prioritize:
Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey
Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.
Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.
These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.
Until next week,
Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not
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