Give the baby a name, since naming affirms the baby's identity and existence regardless of gestational age, and Crystal insisted this matters "no matter what gestation".

Offer a moment to say goodbye or request one final ultrasound image before any procedure, so parents have a concrete visual memory to hold onto.

Provide a keepsake ultrasound photo or scan picture that the family can keep in a memory box as tangible proof the baby.

Offer a hospital-issued memorial or keepsake certificate, since some facilities provide these even though there is no legal birth recognition before 24 weeks.

Wrap the miscarried remains gently in a small piece of fabric, a cut swatch of a nightgown, or a soft cloth so the baby is treated with the same tenderness as a term infant.

With permission, take photographs of the remains in whatever form they exist, whether in a container, on cloth, or in the parents' hands, since even early-loss families often want proof and closeness later.

Offer to apply a drop of scented oil (lavender, lemon, or orange) using a cotton swab, which creates a sensory memory without requiring physical handling of fragile tissue.

Draw or trace an outline of the estimated baby size on paper as a tangible representation of how big the baby was, since parents often have no other physical reference.

Create a comparative handprint or thumbprint drawing showing the size of the baby's hand next to the parent's own thumbprint, symbolically representing the baby's scale.

Offer private cremation or burial arrangements and explain all legal and logistical options clearly, since control over these decisions restores a sense of agency.

Invite the family to hold a religious or spiritual ritual such as a blessing, naming ceremony, or brief prayer performed by a chaplain, since Crystal's own family arranged an emergency baptism and noted this isn't for everyone but "essentially covers it because it really, it is for a lot of people".

Suggest a tangible memorial item such as a piece of memorial jewelry, a garden stone, or a small tattoo that can be personalized to the pregnancy.

Encourage writing a letter to the baby or a journal entry describing the pregnancy, the moment of loss, and any hopes held for the baby.

Press and preserve any flowers received during the hospital stay as a lasting sensory keepsake. Also a great opportunity for essential oils to bring the smell sensory.

Offer a memory box or envelope where scan pictures, medical bracelets, cards, and notes can be safely stored together.

Keep a stack of Memory Maker cards on hand for parents to take home — small, guided prompts that make it easier to begin memory-making right in the moment. Use code NICUBabies at checkout to cover the cost of up to 5 packs (families only pay shipping).

Light a candle in the room during the loss.

Ensure complete privacy and unhurried time in the room, since even a brief early loss deserves the same undisturbed space given to any birth.

Validate the loss verbally by using the baby's name and acknowledging the pregnancy as a real loss regardless of gestational age, nurses should "recognize perinatal grief at any gestation"

Inform the family about donating to or connecting with an organization for future memorial gifts, such as naming a star or contributing to an in-memory fundraiser, to give ongoing ways to honor the baby.

Offer information about starting a "grateful" or memory journal where parents can capture small moments of connection even in the earliest days of grief.

Provide referrals to social workers, chaplains, or bereavement coordinators immediately, since Crystal's family relied heavily on a social worker and hospice team who "made a lot of this happen" during their own crisis.

Many late-loss ideas below — like playing special music or taking the baby outside briefly for fresh air — can be adapted for early loss too, so don't hesitate to offer them regardless of gestational age.

Give the baby a name and use it consistently in every conversation, since naming affirms personhood and was, for Crystal, non-negotiable "no matter what gestation".

Hold and rock the baby for as long as the family wants, using a cooling device to extend that time safely without rushing the moment.

Encourage skin-to-skin contact between both parents and the baby, mirroring the bonding rituals used with living newborns.

Smile at the baby and speak to them warmly, a small but powerful act Crystal called out as something "so simple but not really something people cognizantly think about," yet one with real emotional power.

Give the baby hugs and kisses just as any parent would with a newborn taken home.

Look for physical birthmarks and family traits such as crooked fingers, moles, or hair color, since Crystal deeply regretted not checking Madelyn's pinkies for the same crooked-finger trait she shares, saying, "I never thought to look at Madelyn's fingers... now, I can't".

Examine or gently open the baby's eyes to note eye color, an idea raised in the interview as an added detail families may not think to ask about but might value later.

If the baby was born with hair, snip and keep a lock as a physical keepsake that endures beyond the hospital stay. Tying it in a bow is nice. Our Late Loss boxes provide a really nice space for this.

Create hand and footprints or three-dimensional molds.

Take extensive photographs and videos of the baby alone, capturing close-up shots of hands, feet, and face that may become treasured later.

Arrange for a volunteer or professional bereavement photographer, since Crystal's most treasured images came from a photographer friend who volunteered unprompted, calling those photos among "the most treasured pictures I have". You can also take photos with your own phone if all else fails.

Take photographs of the baby with parents, siblings, grandparents, and chosen family members, since Crystal's entire extended family gathered for Madelyn despite her being unable to recall how it was even arranged, "people showed up".

Proactively ask parents whether other family members might want to come say goodbye, since grieving parents in crisis mode may not think to invite loved ones themselves.

Introduce the baby to living siblings using clear, honest language such as "baby died," avoiding euphemisms like "went to sleep," since Crystal stressed this prevents long-term trauma such as a child's fear of sleep or separation.

Encourage children to attend and participate in saying goodbye or attending the funeral in age-appropriate ways.

Invite family and friends to visit and hold the baby in the hospital room, creating a communal memory rather than an isolated one.

Bathe and dress the baby, offering fathers or partners who have not had a chance to parent yet a meaningful hands-on role.

Change the baby's diaper as a small act of ordinary parenting that affirms the caregiving relationship.

Apply a favorite lip balm or chapstick to the baby's lips, a detail Crystal specifically requested for Madelyn because "her lips are chapped... I don't like it, fix it," and one she still keeps as a scented keepsake years later.

Use a signature bar of soap or bath product to wash the baby, then send a trial-size version home with the family so the scent remains a lasting sensory trigger, an idea modeled by a bereavement program Crystal encountered at a hospital in West Tennessee.

Apply a drop of essential oil to the baby's chest or clothing rather than skin, when the skin is too fragile for lotion or soap, preserving a scent memory without disrupting delicate tissue.

Provide the space for religious rituals such as baptism the baby or perform another religious or spiritual ceremony meaningful to the family, arranged quickly if needed, as Crystal's mother-in-law did by calling a priest to the delivery room before Madelyn was born.

Sing songs, read books, or tell stories to the baby just as a parent would with a baby going home.

Write about the baby's birth story as soon as possible while details are still fresh, since even small specifics become deeply valued later.

Write or record ongoing experiences and memories with the baby in a journal, audio note, or video diary.

Consider donating breastmilk in the baby's honor, an idea Crystal wished she had pursued, saying she views it as something she "could have done to honor Madelyn immediately," while emphasizing it should never feel obligatory.

Offer a rolling memory cart or bereavement supply cart stocked with keepsake books, soaps, and scent items, an approach used by some regional nonprofit organizations that supply hospitals directly.

Provide a memory box containing a blanket, hat, footprints, a hospital bracelet, measurement card, and other items collected during the stay.

Offer an ID bracelet, cord clamp, or name band as a preserved physical keepsake.

Encourage parents to choose an outfit for the baby to wear in the hospital, potentially a different one for burial, keeping both as keepsakes.

Draw an outline of the baby's body or profile on paper as a lasting record of size and shape.

Play special music, dance with the baby, or select a song that might otherwise have been used for a future family milestone, such as a father-daughter dance.

Take the baby outside briefly to experience sunlight, rain, or fresh air if medically appropriate, giving the family a sensory memory beyond the hospital room. ❤️ this one.

Lower the lights and use battery-operated candles to create a calm, unhurried atmosphere for quiet family time.

When the family feels ready, offer to help remove the baby's belongings from the home, easing a painful and impractical task later.

Ensure privacy, patience, and unhurried time throughout the stay, treating the physical environment as peaceful and comfortable for as long as the family needs it.

Facilitate discussion around autopsy decisions and grief counseling referrals clearly, without pressure, so parents retain a sense of control over medical choices.