In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: What Tools Do Hospitals Use for Fetal / Infant Death? (Survey Data)

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🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

❤️ What Tools Do Hospitals Use for Fetal / Infant Death? – Last week we shared survey results asking what your hospital uses for fetal demise. We have a pretty solid list.

👥 The guideline that quietly changed how we move babies after death - shares what high-performing hospitals are doing after stillbirth and infant death

📖 Deep Dive

How do you transport babies after fetal demise?

When a family says goodbye to their baby, every detail matters—especially the journey from the patient room to the next step. Families and nurses describe this walk to the morgue or holding area as one of the most emotionally loaded parts of the entire experience.

When we choreograph these final journeys with intention, we send a clear message: Your baby mattered.​​

Why discreet transport matters

Parents consistently identify “transition moments” as some of the most vivid memories of their loss—how they first met their baby, how they said goodbye, and how their baby was taken from the room. In the Resolved Through Sharing perinatal bereavement model, these small details are framed as part of the baby’s story, not just logistics.

• Protecting privacy and dignity
  Moving a baby after stillbirth or infant loss is not just a task—it’s a moment families may remember for decades. Quiet, respectful transport shields them from unnecessary questions, stares, and comments.

• Reducing secondary trauma for staff
  Nurses describe transport as one of the hardest assignments, especially when they must walk through busy hallways with visible cues that the baby has died. Clear, compassionate protocols reduce moral distress and secondary traumatic stress.

• Protecting families with live births
  Discreet transport also protects other parents on the unit from unexpectedly seeing the movement of a deceased baby or a clearly marked body bag—something that can trigger anxiety and fear about their own child.

What professional guidelines say

Several national and international guidelines now emphasize dignity, privacy, and parent choice during and after infant death.

• Dignity and compassion
  Interdisciplinary perinatal bereavement guidelines recommend that transport and all handling of the baby be done “with dignity and compassion,” with the option for a loved one or nurse to accompany if desired.

• Privacy first
  Best-practice bereavement pathways encourage using less-trafficked hallways, service elevators, or pre-mapped “compassion routes” to reduce exposure to other patients and staff.

• Choice for parents
  Parents should be offered the option to accompany their baby to the morgue or viewing area, and in some systems, to push the bassinet or pram themselves if they wish. For some, this may be the only time they get to parent their child in this way.

• Legal and policy awareness
  In many states (including Texas), families may have the right to transport their baby by private car if appropriate documentation (such as a fetal death certificate or report of death) travels with them. Hospitals are encouraged to inform families of these rights while still following their own risk and safety policies.

Always check your hospital policy and state law—but know that more systems are moving toward honoring parent choice, within safe and legal limits.

Best practices on real units

Below are practical, evidence-informed steps you can adapt to your unit. The goal: modern, compassionate, and realistic.

1. Prepare the route

• Map a “compassion route”
  Identify the quietest, most private path to the morgue or designated holding area, including preferred elevators and exits. Post a simple route map in staff-only areas.

• Coordinate timing
  When possible, coordinate with security or transport to avoid shift-change crowds or high-traffic times. A two‑minute pause in hallway traffic can make a huge difference.​

• Use visual cues for staff, not families
  Some hospitals mark the room door with a discreet symbol or flower to alert staff to bereavement without announcing it to the hallway. This reduces the risk of “Congratulations!” at the wrong door.

2. Communicate clearly and kindly

• Offer options, not assumptions
  Ask parents if they want to accompany their baby or prefer staff to handle transport. Many will say yes if the offer is made gently and without pressure.​​

• Use clear, truthful language
  Research shows that parents remember how healthcare teams spoke about their baby’s death, and that euphemisms can increase distress. Phrases like:​​

  • “We’ll carry your baby with the same care we’d want for our own.”

  • “You’re welcome to walk with us or stay here—there’s no right or wrong.”

• Reassure when they can’t go
  If parents choose not to accompany or are unable to, reassure them specifically that their baby will not be handled “like a package,” but as their child.​​

3. Choose transport devices that match your values

There’s no perfect solution, but there are better and worse options. The Facebook discussion you shared reflects what we see nationally: everything from infant body bags and black plastic boxes to handmade caskets and baskets. The product you choose sends a message—even if no parent ever sees it.

Below is a concise table you can reuse in your newsletter.

Common transport options and considerations

When possible, layering helps: baby wrapped in a soft blanket or swaddle, placed in a dignity box or bassinet, then carried in a discreet carrier, bag, or covered cart.

4. Keep the baby “a baby,” not just a body

Perinatal bereavement research repeatedly shows that seeing their baby treated as a child—not a specimen—supports healthier grief.​​

• Wrap in baby blankets or swaddles
  Many nurses choose to swaddle every baby themselves, regardless of gestation, before placing them in any carrier or bag.

• Use the baby’s name on internal labels
  When policy allows, include the baby’s name on visible staff-facing labels (with MRN) instead of only “fetus” or “product of conception.”

• Consider a small comfort object
  Some units place a tiny teddy bear or soft item with the baby (with parent consent), especially when cremation is planned, so parents know their baby is not alone.​​

5. Support for staff during and after transport

Multiple studies show that nurses caring for stillbirth and infant death experience their own grief response, including sadness, guilt, and intrusive memories.

• Two‑person transport when possible
  Having one person focused on navigating the environment and another emotionally attuned to the moment reduces perceived burden.​​

• Brief huddles or debriefs
  Even a five‑minute debrief after a difficult case is linked with reduced secondary traumatic stress and better team resilience.

• Normalize emotional impact
  Training that explicitly names staff grief—and frames emotional responses as normal, not weakness—improves coping and reduces shame.

Don’t forget policy, law, and parent rights

Every hospital and state is different, but a few themes are emerging:

• Documentation must travel with the baby
  Whether the baby is going to pathology, the morgue, or directly to a funeral home, required paperwork (fetal death certificate, report of death, post‑mortem consent) should accompany the baby according to local regulations.

• Families may have transport options
  In many jurisdictions, families can choose to transport their baby themselves by private car once the correct permits are issued. This should be offered sensitively, never pushed, and always in alignment with hospital risk management.

• Cooling devices and timing
  For hospitals using CuddleCots or similar devices, guidelines encourage honoring extended time with baby while also planning for respectful, timely transfer once parents are ready or when the baby’s condition makes continued viewing more distressing.

Encouraging your hospital to review policies with bereavement, legal, and risk management together can help move outdated “black box” or body‑bag only practices toward more dignified options.

How you can start change on your unit

If you’re reading this thinking, “All we have is a body bag and a loud hallway,” you’re not alone.

Here are small, realistic first steps you can bring to your manager or bereavement committee:

• Map a quiet “compassion route” and add it to your unit binder.

• Create a simple door symbol protocol to prevent “Congratulations” at the wrong room.

• Pilot one dignified carrier option (like a soft removal carrier or dignity box) and track staff feedback.

• Add a line to your unit policy stating that babies should be wrapped or swaddled before any body bag is used.​​

• Build in a 5–10 minute voluntary debrief after particularly hard cases.

Even one change tells families—and your staff—that this moment matters.

How did you enjoy today’s deep dive?

(Select one)

⭐️ It was extremely helpful and gave me new insight

👍 Helpful, mostly a good refresher

✅ I didn’t learn anything new, but it validated what I already do

😕 It missed the mark or I have feedback

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

Education: Please share our newsletter with your co-workers. Our priority is empowering nurses with the tools to support patients with modern, evidence-based bereavement education.

Bereavement boxes: Our bereavement boxes were designed out of a need for a modern high quality solution for families suffering from miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death.

Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not