In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: Top Takeaways From Our Bereavement Summit

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Want to learn how to get Forget Me Not Boxes in your hospital? Reply “Bereavement boxes”

🔗 The Best Resources I Found This Week

📝 Event Recording
Did you miss our Bereavement Training Event? No problem! Here’s the recording. 

Event Chat
We had some excellent discussions and resources shared alongside the training. Download chat here.

📘 Share Resources
Cindy and Rose delivered so much valuable content in this training. Here are the trainings they mentioned. They will offer a 10% discount on all online trainings until 12/31/25. Also, if anyone is interested in a sample pack of Share materials if they email [email protected].

Discount Code: FORGETMENOT

📖 Deep Dive

Early Loss Done Right

Before we dive in, I wanted to share a beautiful email that stopped me in my tracks a few days after the event from a nurse.

Okay team… this one has been on my mind since our event.

Because if there’s one theme that ran through the chat, the Q&A, and the follow-up survey, it was this:

Early loss is where most units feel least prepared… and where families need us the most.

And honestly? I’m not surprised.

Early losses (under 20 weeks) often fall into the cracks between L&D, ED, outpatient clinics, OR, and private OB offices.
Which means nurses are handed families who are in the worst moment of their lives… with no structured training, no standard supplies, and sometimes, no guidance at all.

One nurse in the discussion said it out loud:

You weren’t alone. Multiple nurses typed in the chat:
“Can you please do a full training just on early loss?”

So today, let’s go deep.
Let’s talk about what early loss families actually need, what most hospitals are missing, and what the research says helps reduce trauma and long-term grief intensity.

And let’s talk about the one communication skill SHARE said is “one of the most powerful tools you will ever learn.”

1. Why Early Loss Matters More Than People Realize

Cindy, one of the presenters from SHARE said something during the training that landed hard:

She’s right.

And Rose added:

But here’s the reality:

• Early losses are the least standardized across the U.S.

• Many units still treat early remains as “tissue,” even in states where that violates parental rights.

• Nurses often don’t know what they’re legally allowed to offer.

• Families leave the hospital with nothing in their hands and no validation that their grief is real.

Your follow-up survey reflected this gap. When asked what they wanted more training on, a common answer was:

“How to support and provide memory making for losses under 20 weeks.”
— Nurse survey

2. The Language Shift: Early vs. Late Loss

This was a huge point in the training.
Cindy said:

“The language changes slightly with early loss… but the compassion shouldn’t.”

So what does that actually mean?

For early loss (under 20 weeks), try:

• “Your baby.”

• “Your son/daughter” (if gender is known)

• “This is a significant loss. I’m so sorry.”

• “We honor every baby here—no matter the gestation.”

Why this matters:
Parents of early loss consistently report that dismissive language increases trauma and complicated grief.

For later losses:

We expand the language to include:

• Baby’s name

• “Mom” and “Dad”

• More detailed memory-making options

• Conversations about autopsy, funeral homes, and lactation care

But here’s the key:
What we never say for late loss: “Pregnancy loss.”
It avoids the reality and creates ambiguity. Instead, use infant death or death of child.

What we never say for early loss: “It wasn’t a baby yet.”
(This destroys families.)

3. Mirroring: The Skill Every Nurse Should Master

This was one of the biggest “YES YES YES” moments in the chat.

Rose taught it so beautifully:

“What I’m hearing you say is…”
— SHARE

You could feel nurses writing it down.

Mirroring does three things:

1. It slows the moment down.

2. It gives parents control back.

3. It prevents misunderstandings that lead to regret.

Example nurses loved:

• “What I’m hearing you say is you’d like your baby cleaned before we bring them to you.”

• “What I’m hearing you say is you’re unsure about photos—would you like us to take them just in case?”

During the discussion, one nurse said:

“I used mirroring yesterday… it changed the entire interaction.”

This skill is pure gold in early loss where decisions feel rushed and emotions are raw.

4. Memory Making for Early Loss: What Actually Helps

SHARE taught this perfectly:

“Memory making isn’t optional — it’s foundational. Regardless of gestation.”

And the chat took off.
Nurses shared everything they do for early loss families:

• Warm-water sponge baths

• Tiny crocheted hearts

• Hearts in pairs (one for baby, one for parents)

• Small name cards

• Photos—even if the family never sees them

• “Letting them keep the items as long as they need”

One nurse said:

“We had over 200 early losses in one year… we needed a better system.”

Exactly why this matters.

Early loss families are the least likely to get memory items.
But research is very clear:

Memory making protects against long-term regret, regardless of gestational age.

And in your survey, many nurses said:

“I want more resources for early-loss boxes.”

Side note: this is exactly why we designed an Early Loss Bereavement Box at Forget Me Not that many of our readers use at their hospitals. This is our Spanish version of our box below.

5. Legal Rights Most Nurses Don’t Know About (But Should)

Your training + your Legal Realities deep dive showed this:

Half of the U.S. has laws requiring parents be informed of early-loss disposition rights.

A few examples:

• Utah: Must notify parents within 24 hours and give them 72 hrs to decide final disposition.

• Illinois: Must notify parents of rights for any gestational age.

• South Dakota: Must disclose how the hospital disposes of remains.

Many nurses in the chat admitted they had no idea.

So let’s make it simple:

For early loss under 20 weeks:

You should offer:
✔ Burial
✔ Cremation
✔ Hospital disposition
✔ Keepsakes
✔ Memory making
✔ Written materials
✔ Time with the baby (if possible)

And the phrase that helps:

“Some families like to take their baby home…”

Using “some” gives families control without pressure.

6. What Nurses Said During the Discussion (And Why It Matters)

Here are a few powerful moments from the second half of the event:

“We need a process for early loss. We just wing it.”
— Nurse during discussion

“Photos are so important. Even if the parents never look at them.”
— Discussion

“Our early-loss families go home with nothing… it breaks my heart.”
— Nurse in chat

“We need ED, OR, and outpatient clinics trained—most early losses never make it to L&D.”
— Discussion nurse

The frustration nurses expressed is exactly why this topic matters.
Everyone is trying their best.
But most units don’t have structure. We’re trying to change this at Forget Me Not, especially with this newsletter to help nurses advocate for change and resources.

7. So What Does Early Loss Done Right Actually Look Like?

Here’s the short list based on SHARE guidance, trauma-informed care research, and everything you all shared:

✔ Start with validation

“You’re not alone. Your baby matters.”

✔ Mirror their words back

“What I’m hearing you say is…”

✔ Offer memory making without pressure

“Some families like…”

✔ Provide options for viewing or holding baby

Even if baby is very small.

✔ Offer photos (even if the family declines)

Evidence shows families often appreciate them later.

✔ Give them something to take home

A heart. A poem. A charm. Something that says “this mattered.”

✔ Explain disposition rights clearly

Early loss rights vary by state, but many require parental notification.

✔ Document the conversation

Especially around photos, remains, and memory items.

✔ Follow up

Many nurses said early-loss families fall through the cracks.

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

Education: Please share our newsletter with your co-workers. Our priority is empowering nurses with the tools to support patients with modern, evidence-based bereavement education.

Bereavement boxes: Our bereavement boxes were designed out of a need for a modern high quality solution for families suffering from miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death.

Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not