In Today’s Issue:

🔗 The best resources I found this week
📖 Deep dive: 15 Meaningful Messages to Write in a Card After a Fetal Demise

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Want to learn how to get Forget Me Not Boxes in your hospital? Reply “Bereavement boxes”

🔗 The Best Resources for Further Learning on Today’s Deep Dive

[Article] Grieving a Miscarriage: What No One Prepares You For – A deeply personal, emotionally resonant look at the duality of grief and gratitude from a mother who has walked this path.

[Guide] 85+ Short Messages for Miscarriage That Truly Support – A practical list of supportive phrases to share with families experiencing early loss.

[Tool] Forget Me Not Bereavement Boxes – Our comprehensive, hospital-ready support boxes that include a journal, matching bracelets for the parents, and resources to help them begin their healing journey.

📖 Deep Dive

15 Meaningful Messages to Write in a Card After a Fetal Demise

When writing a message for a bereaved family, your words can hold a lasting impact—sometimes much more than you realize. As Carly, an L&D RN who has personally experienced fetal loss, expressed:

She went on to say, “Don’t be weird or avoid the elephant in the room… I had amazing nurses acknowledge the pain, or call her by her name, and I felt a little bit normal in that moment and not some horrible patient they didn’t want to care for.”

Research consistently shows that bereaved parents remember the care and words of their healthcare team in vivid detail, often for the rest of their lives. Sensitive, empathetic communication is essential in helping parents process their loss and find meaning in their experience. Acknowledging the baby as a person, using their name, not minimizing the loss, and recognizing the parents as parents are all powerful ways to honor their grief and support their healing.

Hailey D, Bereavement Coordinator, shares how her team approaches this tender moment:

If you’ve ever finished a shift, sat at the nurses' station, and stared blankly at a sympathy card, you’re not alone.

"I always freeze when I have to write the card," one L&D nurse recently shared with us. "I just don't want to say the wrong thing."

It's natural to want to find the perfect words to take away their pain. But this isn't something you can fix—and it isn't your responsibility to have all the answers. Your role is simply to offer warmth and authenticity. Research and parent interviews consistently show that grieving families don't expect profound wisdom from their care team. They just want their baby acknowledged, and their pain validated.

To make those moments at the nurses' station a little easier, here are 15 meaningful, peer-approved messages you can write in a family's bereavement card. Draw inspiration from your own experience and from families like Carly’s, who remind us of the difference compassion and acknowledgment make during a family’s darkest days.

Acknowledging the Pain

1. "I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby."

2. "There are simply no words to take this pain away, but I want you to know I see you."

3. "I am heartbroken for you and your family."

4. "I can't imagine your pain, but I am holding you close in my thoughts."

5. "There is no right or wrong way to navigate this. I am so sorry."

Honoring the Baby

6. "Your baby mattered, and they will never be forgotten."
7. "It was an absolute honor to care for you and [Baby's Name]."
8. "You are a wonderful mother, and your baby knew only your love and warmth."
9. "Your family is in my thoughts as you honor and remember your sweet baby."
10. "Grieving with you as you navigate this profound loss. Your little one is so loved."

Offering Gentle, No-Pressure Support

11. "Holding you in my heart during this unimaginable time."
12. "Please don’t feel any pressure to respond to this or reach out. Just know I am thinking of you."
13. "Sending you gentle moments of peace in the difficult days ahead."
14. "Wishing you strength, comfort, and grace as you say goodbye."
15. "You are not alone in this. We are all holding your family in the light."

What This Means for You at the Bedside

Keep this list handy at the nurses' station. When you write a card, avoid euphemisms or phrases that begin with "at least" or "everything happens for a reason." Just use clear, truthful language. Your compassion—even when it feels imperfect—matters more than you know.

Carly’s words remind us “Acknowledging the baby by name is SO important… I felt like my nurse treated her like a normal baby.” Taking a moment to gently mention the baby’s features or to share a specific memory, no matter how small, can offer tremendous comfort.

Hailey advises, “Use the baby’s name whenever possible. Acknowledge the parents as parents. Mention a specific feature or memory if appropriate. Keep it simple, heartfelt, and free of religious references unless you know the family’s wishes.”

Don’t say: “At least it was early on,” “You can try again,” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Never refer to the baby as a “fetus” or “demise” in front of parents—use “baby” or their name.

By signing cards together and continuing the care even after discharge, as Hailey’s team does, you help families feel seen, honored, and less alone on their healing journey.

Self-Care Moment

Writing these cards takes a piece of your heart.

When you pour your empathy onto a page for a grieving family, it is completely normal to feel depleted afterward.

This work is hard.

Remember that it is not your job to carry their grief home with you, and it is not your job to fix their reality. You don't have to have all the answers. You just need to care enough to show up. Before you walk into your next patient's room, take three deep breaths. Let the heaviness stay on the paper.

Vote on today’s deep dive below and give additional feedback (it helps guide what we go deep on)

⭐️ It was extremely helpful and gave me new insight

👍 Helpful, mostly a good refresher

✅ I didn’t learn anything new, but it validated what I already do

😕 It missed the mark or I have feedback

👋 That’s a Wrap!

Before you go: Here are ways we can help your hospital

Education: Please share our newsletter with your co-workers. Our priority is empowering nurses with the tools to support patients with modern, evidence-based bereavement education.

Bereavement boxes: Our bereavement boxes were designed out of a need for a modern, high quality solution for families suffering from miscarriage, stillborn, or infant death.

Reply to this email “Sample” to get a free sample sent to your hospital.

What we prioritize:

1. Tools for hospitals to create a bereavement experience for families to begin their grief journey

2. Educating nurses with modern bereavement standards and continuing education.

3. Helping hospitals build a foundation of trust and support, so bereaved families feel seen and cared for—now and in the years to come.

These boxes were born out of our own personal losses, including Jay’s (CEO) 15 years of experience working in labor and delivery as a CRNA and witnessing time and again how the hospital experience can profoundly shape a family’s grief journey, for better or for worse.

Until next week,

Trina and Jay
Co-founders of Forget Me Not